Being a Daddy's girl

I love my dad, I have ever since I was little. I was always daddy's girl. He would tell us the best stories, tell us about the glass castle, teach me new things, check up on us and even gave me a star as a birthday present because we didn't have the money. Except he had slip ups, he would drink a lot, lose his jobs for silly reasons, fight with mom, spend money on alcohol, lie to us, cheated on mom, the way he taught me how to swim. Brian was not a big fan of dad, he could see what I couldn't. I remember once my dad had asked

"Have I ever let you down?", then Brian said Yes but in a very low voice. I'm not saying my dad wasn't a good dad he just wasn't as good as my naive eyes perceived him to be. Lori wasn't a big fan of him either, she didn't have hope in him and didn't like his actions. His drunk nights were the thing I hated most about him. One year mom planned this wonderful Christmas and we had all been able to buy presents for each other, we even got a tree! Except dad started drinking that morning and continued into the night, we took him to mass when he could barley stand. We got kicked out of the service because of him and when we got home we tried to calm him down but nothing was working. My dad said out loud "Let's really light up this Christmas" and threw his lighter into the Christmas tree. Everyone was absolutely stunned and then we started to grab blankets and water. By that point the whole entire tree was ruined along with the ornaments and all of our presents... he was laughing the whole time. No one ever told him how badly he had ruined Christmas, we just all shut down for the night. One time I thought I may have gotten him to stop drinking because for my tenth birthday I asked him to stop drinking and he locked himself in his room for a week. He tortured himself so badly. I really believed he would stop completely but after some time he started back up again.